Remembering Yatharth

Last year it was the same December when we lost everything we boasted of in life.Yes, it was the same month and the week when we lost our only son Yatharth. We saw how a super active and joyful kid of not even 3 was fighting for his life on a ventilator.

We never thought of experiencing such thing in our wildest dreams. But, each passing day in PICU was forcing me to believe that life can turn so cruel  without any warning, no matter how happy and strong you are.

I still remember how he closed his eyes before collapsing on the bed, I still remember "Maa", was the last word he said before collapsing in the laps of his mother.

He was so innocent and ignorant about the surroundings.I was shocked and was equally ashamed of standing there like a helpless statue.

I never felt so helpless in life and was just a mute spectator when the doctors were trying to revive him.Looking at the body language of the doctors I realized that something terribly wrong has happened to my Yatharth and he could not be the same playful Yatharth.

I was cursing myself as a father because it all happened in front of me.

The news spread and soon i was surrounded by my support system.My friends  used their links and information.

They were making all efforts for exploring options beyond Medihope hospitals.They weighed all the options and suggested me to move Yatharth to the Manipal hospital,On sunday the 14th December we moved him to Manipal hospital's PICU.

It was for the first time that Yatharth was not with his mother.He was looking so lonely and helpless on his bed.I was sitting next to his bed on a chair, looking at him with a hope that he will react.

I used to go close to him and whisper "Babu, ek baar aankh khol do Babu.Daddy tumko DRDO park le jayenge..Big Bazar le jayenge".But he was silent and nonreactive as if he had decided not to speak to me.

Next couple days his condition remained the same.Each day i used to introspect myself with questions like  what wrong i did? why this happened to me? how will i live without him?

I was clueless and my each session of introspection used to end with a uncontrollable crying in front of Dr ShivKumar.

I used to ask him was I wrong in rejecting the temptation of an onsite job or a 2 BHK flat and living with a hope of giving best for Yatharth.

Yes, me and wife used to discuss "humein kuch nahi chahiey bus baccha theek se padh likh le aur ek aacha insaan ban jaye."

I used to ask him "Tell me Sir, was it a such a big wish to be shattered like this?"

He told that I understand your feelings because i also have a daughter of same age.He was also helpless because the damage to Yatharth's brain due to the cardiac arrest was irreversible.

But he encouraged me to not loose hope in life.His words were consoling and at the same time encouraging.

I must say and give him the due credit for inspiring my thought process at a time when you are bound succumb to negativity.

I then started accepting the fact that he might not return with us.So, what next?

Do, I allow him to die like this? 

If he dies like this then who will remember him later.People will just say that Amit's son passed away with a fever.

Being a father I knew what was he capable of and i was just feeling cheated in life.Yes, I was feeling that he has not been given proper chance to explore his capability.Like any other child he also wanted  to live and enjoy the colors of life.

But unfortunately he was deprived of that basic right, why?

I asked the same to my father and he said "ho sakta hai wo Bhagwan ko bahut pyaara tha aur hum usey yahan apney swaarth mein bandh rahe the".

After getting this answer from my father I thought that may be he is right.Not everyone in this world is born for materialistic comparisons, not everyone is born here to be superstars.

Some are born for a bigger purpose in life and I consoled myself with this thought.

But this thought was infectious and soon it overpowered my entire thought process.

I can say it was the power of selfless soul of Yatharh that was making me to think positive when we were surrounded by extreme sorrow.

On the eve of 18th Dec Doctors pronounced Yatharth as brain dead.The worst thing i can say that can happen to anyone. The last 4 days in the PICU were preparing us mentally for this because each passing day things were worst for him.

I told my wife and father that if we want him to be remembered for a cause then we should control our emotions and give him a grand farewell.He deserved a much better life than this but unfortunately that didn't work so at least let's give him a chance to live through others.

I am not that strong character but don't know which invisible forces helped me to take such decision.

We conveyed our thoughts to the panel and they took up this with ZCCK.It was destiny only that he was born in South India where we have such awareness on organ donation.The logistics involved in green corridor creation and then transplantation into new bodies ensured that his life didn't go in vain.

Because of him doctors were able to perform the first pediatric heart transplant in India.

Although he left us crying but he gave happiness to other 6 families.

It hardly matters today that he was a born Hindu Brahmin because he has defied all boundaries.Today not only he has crossed the geographical barrier but also the social barriers.He lives today in a christian far north in Russia and also in other recipients of different caste and sex in Karnataka. 

He at this such tender age has showed to the world that even in death we can still give hope to others.

His life is a story of selflessness and supreme sacrifice for humanity.He didn't take anything from this world, never criticized anyone..never blamed anyone.

All what he had, just passed on to others.

Today whenever I remember him I feel proud to the father of such an angel called Yatharth.

You are immortal and your name itself tells that the fact of life is all about bringing happiness to others.

You will be always with us..

Daddy and Maa...